2.22am and my little world

I'm not tired.. wtf guys?
Anyone have any ideas to make you go to sleep?
Seriously, I'm not sleepy, I should be sleepy, my fiancé is sick, and I'm not feeling 100% I feel pretty gross to be honest, but i'm alright, I've dosed myself up on Beechams cold and flu tablets, so that's helping!

I just finished watching Elizabethtown, we recorded it on our Humax (it's a PVR, or like a tivo for you american types) it was pretty epic to be honest, only confirmed that I definately want to do a roadtrip across america (or at least across a few states)! It was your normal chickflick affair, nothing too crazy, I wouldn't say it was ground breaking but a definate good film to watch with your girlfriend (you guys are hopeless with movies sometimes!) lol it was pretty cheesy though!

Sometimes I feel pretty odd just sitting here blogging, I don't know what it is, it's like writing to an audience, and I don't even know if I have one, I don't know how to explain it too you, but frankly, it's a bit odd, cause I might be talking to YOU but YOU might not exist, it might just be me chatting to my imaginary friends... Am I talking to my imaginary friends? Should I start naming you Bob, Eric, Frank, Lucy, Marvin, Janey, Mary... I could go on, but it's probably the 2.30 am paranoia kicking in, Anyway, it's nice to meet you, you guys, I figure that I can just rely on you always being here, maybe I will start adressing you people, so that I don't feel so weird blogging to myself! So, comment me people, so I know that I'm not really alone, and so I know you people are real! And So I don't start adressing the blog to Marvin, (isn't Marvin a cool name?) 2.30 is a good time for names apparently!

Hmm, I figure, if you're reading this far you have a longer attentionspan than I realised, and frankly, I salute you reading my 2am ramblings, I should stop mentioning the time, you know that it's freakishly late/early, depending on how you look at it, It's one of those "is the glass half full or half empty" situations.

Blogging is like letting go of nothing and everything all at once, you can take me for who I am, or you don't, I suppose if you like me you'll stick around and listen to my storys and schemes, and , if you don't you'll never return and become a part of my life so briefly I'll never know if I like you, or even if we could be friends!

For those of you who are sticking around, hello, I hope I'm not boring you, I know a few of my existing friends will have already found the blog, and read a little, and left never to return, but for those of you who are new friends, I can't wait to meet you, and learn something about you, I'm always here for tea and buscuits, and I'll always have an ear for you, if you have taken the time to read what i have to say, and sometimes maybe you'll read between the lines and realise, all is not what it seems, well maybe it is what it seems, because it's to early/late to lie, this is pretty much what I'm thinking, thus the randomness of it all! And I'm not talking about cheese kinda random I'm talking about the chaos of my thoughts.

Chaos of my thoughts, brings me to my next point, for those of you who are still reading (I have little faith that it's not just me and Marvin) My mind is pretty much always going at a million miles per hour, being inside my head is like being constantly in thought and motion, I see things as a creative person, I am not what you would call average, I try to fit in, but i'm always the person who is on the outside the window looking in on everyone else, I am never really 100% part of anyone group, i've always been the same. I find it hard to find my real place in society, I don't know why, but I have found my place with my fiancé, he is a great guy and we click, we have a 11 year age gap (sometimes 10), but when I'm with him, I just feel like I'm my real self, there is nothing better than knowing that no matter what happens, you have someone you truely love, without any question or real thought!

Marv, you still awake? Bah even the imaginary people have gone to bed, it's awful to be honest, now it's just me on my todd! lol

But seriously, I feel alive and myself, when I'm with my fiancé, something tells me deep inside that this is it, this is the only person I will ever be with, I will never be with another man, because I know that I am happy and at one with myself when I am with him!

I love him completely, and with everything I have, he will never leave my heart, because he is the whole world to me, and nothing can ever change the love that I have for him!

And on that rather soppy note, I am going to leave you, I apologise for the ramblings, and thank you for your patience, You are welcome to ramble to me anytime!

See you soon,
Alice
xxx